Friday, August 22, 2014

My Dog Did Something Dumb

Golden retrievers are generally considered bright. At the very least, they are extremely trainable because they are so willing to please. But for some reason, I only have come to live with the golden retrievers who are a few milkbones short of a box. And I mean that with all the love in the world.

Who, me?

Brooks, for example, was the sweetest, gentlest, kindest, most amazing golden I've ever been lucky enough to share a home with. But he couldn't turn himself around if he walked into a corner. This is true. After a surgery, when he was wearing the cone of shame, he got himself stuck in the doorway and just stood there. He didn't back up, he didn't try to maneuver out. He didn't even bark or whine for help. He just stood. Thankfully, I was home and could help steer him through the doorway. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been home, how long he would have stood there.

Here's Brooks with his cone. I think he's asleep.

Well this brings us to Ike. Last night, Ike got stuck under the bed. Yup. Stuck. Under the bed.

About 3am I was awakened by the sound of toenails scraping against a wood floor. If you are anything like me and have a crazy imagination and also are afraid of anything that moves after dark, you can imagine what sprung to mind when I heard the sound of toenails scuttling under my bed. What kind of creepy eight-eyed slimy green monster was under the bed, anyway?

Turns out that Ike had somehow gotten all 70 pounds of himself under the bed, and couldn't get out. Ike has his own cozy bed to sleep in, and he usually starts out there, but during the night he might get up and sleep in Kelly's bed, in the hall, or on the floor beside our bed. Since our bedroom is pretty small, there isn't much wiggle room between the bed and the wall, just enough space for a golden retriever to lay down. But if he wiggles in that wiggle room, then somehow he must push himself under the bed.
I know. It happened before.

Ike hasn't quite got the hang of this bed thing.

So I got up and pulled Ike out from under the bed. He didn't do anything to try to help me out either, just laying there dead weight. I pulled his hind leg a little and part of him slid out. Then I crawled around to the front and pulled a little. I had to reach under the bed and lower his shoulder so that it could fit back out from the bed frame, and pull on the front end a little more. This was no easy feat with me crawling around on my hands and knees in the dark. But I got him out, and he wagged his tail and jumped up on top of the bed.


Much safer. I only hope he won't fall out of bed.

Has your dog done something silly, or let's face it, dumb, lately?


  1. BOL!!! This was a great chuckle! Being the owners of 2 1/2 goldens, I totally get it. Bruin, our youngest insists on sleeping under our bed, hence getting stuck every night. You'd think they would learn?!! Great post, thanks for the laughs!

  2. @Miley Bruin gets stuck too? Oh dear! Silly goldens!

  3. BOL oh you poor baby. Thank goodness mom heard those toenails.
    Lily & Edward

  4. BOL! Mauja falls off the couch more than shed like me to say. She'll be stretching in her sleep and just slip right off. Atka trips over himself all the time. Must be those gangly adolescent legs ;)

  5. I'm laughing out loud. I can totally see you maneuvering Ike out from under the bed. Perhaps this is a new exercise routine?

    Honey doesn't have many stupid moments. Perhaps it's a male golden retriever thing?

  6. @Pamela hmmm I've always had male goldens. So maybe we can generalize about males and lift up the female blondes as superior?!

  7. @Lily and Edward Ike may be silly and get stuck under the bed but I still love him bunches!

  8. @Kelsie Oh dear, falling out of bed! I remember that when my son was a little boy in his first big boy bed. I wonder why more people don't fall out of bed--what sense makes us aware of the edges when we're asleep?

  9. My kids call Jedi "Kelso" (after That 70's Show) because he's a pretty boy who does dumb things. *sigh*

  10. He's pretty smart actually... He wrangled an invite to the top of the bed... ;)

    Monty and Harlow

  11. @Kelley Caton haha that's funny! I bet he's a pretty boy who is really loved!

  12. That's too funny. What a riot that he just laid there while you slid him out. Rita does dumb stuff all the time. Like every night we get her up on our bed and give her a cookie before sleepytime. But some nights she just sits there and stares at us, even though we are holding the cookie and calling her over. Maybe she's just too smart, cuz she gets up to deliver the cookie to her and she doesn't have to move a muscle!


Kelly and Ike say thank you for your comments!