Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Remembering Kelly

Recently I found myself thinking more about my dogs Ernest and Petey, and less about the ones I'd lost six months ago, and it shocked me.















Maybe it's only natural to focus on the ones who are here day in and day out. Maybe it's because Ernest has cancer and we spend a great deal of time making sure we're caring for his health and comfort. Or because Petey is a puppy and so very consuming of time and energy. Maybe it's just the way it should be. But it feels wrong.

Especially with Kelly. I don't feel this same melancholy about Ike, the 10-year old golden retriever we lost in March. Ike is still with me in many ways. I think of Ike every time I look at Ernest and Petey, and feel a deep appreciation for this wonderful breed. Ever since Brooks, the dog we adopted when he was 11-years-old, we fell in love with golden retrievers. Especially the seniors. Maybe it's still having golden retrievers that helps me keep Ike's spirit alive.
















But Kelly. Sometimes Kelly feels...gone. It seems like years, decades ago that we had Kelly. Yet we lost her in March, just after losing Ike. And we'd had her longest of any dog...15 years.

The last year with Kelly had been bad. Pacing. Loss of continence. Loss of mental faculties. She didn't like to be held anymore. She fell. Panted. She stared with eyes that barely recognized me anymore. That's not the Kelly I'm remembering today.
















Kelly was a good dog. She used to be joyful. She ran, wagging her tail like a helicopter, springing from bush to bush in the yard. She loved to swim. She loved to jump. She jumped up on the back of my big green chair and curled around my neck like a scarf. She cuddled. She was smart. She could solve any puzzle or problem. She was in charge, that was for sure.

















 With any other dogs in the house, she was the boss. She controlled them with just a look. All our golden retrievers were respectful of her, and deferred to her leadership. But what I remember most is her empathy. She was always there beside me if ever I was down or not feeling well. There were many times when I was going through some challenge, and she just intuitively crept up and tucked herself in by my side. She was almost human, I thought. She understood me, and sometimes it seemed as though she read my thoughts.

It makes me happy to think of Kelly and how special she was, but it also makes me sad because I miss her all the more.
















There once was a dog named Kelly, and we adopted her, and she was a part of the family and she loved us with everything she had. We played with her when she was young and we cared for her when she was suffering from dementia. And in March we said goodbye to her. And I love her. And I miss her.

Kelly was a good dog.

20 comments:

  1. I found the blog some what interesting in its content wise and easier to understand what they had said. I love if you publish the blogs often.
    By Kristina

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  2. That was really lovely Peggy. I think time has a way of shocking us all. It seems like forever ago, but then like it was yesterday. I am glad you have these wonderful memories to share of Kelly.

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    1. You are right...some days it seems like she was right here with us and others it feels like she's been gone for years.

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  3. This is beautiful Peggy. I think we remember pets we've lost in different ways. The cats I had for a nice, long life are always missed, but more with happy memories. For me, losing Truffles at only 4 years old is still something I can't accept even more than 2 years later. Mudpie is with me now and I love her more than words can say, but I think the shadow of Truffles will always still be there because we were robbed of so much time together.

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    1. I know you understand, having lost special pets as well. And yes, the ones we lost "too soon" are often the most difficult to let go.

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  4. Beautiful! She was a part of you and always will be. You will remember her with so much love for the rest of your life. And hopefully, someday, with a little less sadness.

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    1. Only certain days feel sad. Today must be one of those melancholy days!

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  5. I felt and feel that way about Silver. We had her from 8 weeks old until she died this last Jan. at 13 years. She was like a mother to me and it still feels like decades have past since she has been gone. I've noticed in the last few months that the space is starting to even out and doesn't feel like eons of time have passed. Must be part of the healing process. God bless. Kelly was an amazing dog. So glad you were so bless to have her in your life.

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    1. I'm so sorry you lost your Silver. It will never be easy. But it's only so hard because when we're together, it's so good. Our pets certainly do bless our lives.

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  6. A lovely tribute to your girl. I can easily start to feel sad when I think about missing Abby. But mostly I try to remember all the smiles she brought to us and all the good things. I definitely remember her with more smiles than tears, but it took a while to get there.

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    1. Abby was a special girl. Remembering the good times is very helpful, especially if the last year or whatever was very difficult. And there were so many good times!

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  7. My mom thinks more about the three of us than past dogs, but they are always with us. Stuff triggers her memory of them all the time and she talks to us about them and often she will tear up. It's the quality of the thoughts, not the quantity that matters. It's normal for life to go on but those deep memories are there forever and will pop up when you need them to. You need some disconnect to move forward. It is the same way when one loses a human.

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    1. You are right, something triggers it and we don't always know what that trigger was but then there you go. Rescuing and/or giving a happy home to another dog is really the only thing that keeps me from missing the others all too much. Thanks for visiting today!

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  8. What a lovely way to think of your pups. I have always been very compartmental, I close things off. I do not do that with my pups that are gone though. Rufus was my service dog and part of my heart. His last few months were so hard. We were at the emergency clinic every week or so. So hard. Sammie was with me the longest almost 21 years and I probably would have kept him longer if not for my family telling me I had to let him go. Tyler is my boy now. He is a rescue that rescued us. He is so special and I swear Rufus and Sammie found him for me. He is the best of them both. Thanks for writing about something that is so hard for us all.

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    1. Sending out so much love to the memories of Rufus and Sammie and for your good boy Tyler.

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  9. i dont know really what to say. i lost my oldest on 8-11-17, to cancer, it was a very long 10 months. she defied the odds. she was my heart dog. i cry everyday. i took the girls, i have 2 younger girls, 8 and 7, both min. schnauzers to be blessed however i also took Evie's urn with me. i will also take the urn and the 2 girls next wk for the Blessing of the Animals. i dont think i will ever get over the loss of Evie. i still remember my first schnauzer often, Rose. i still haave her pictures up everywhere and i got her in 1975. she passed away at 7 from Leukemia. she had become my parent's dog when i had to go away for school internship and they refused to give her back. she was spoiled rotten. how she loved them as they did her. she is buried with my mother. it was her wish and was put in her will and trust. i still think abt the pony i had in jr high. the Boston Terrier we had growing up. i think abt all of the horses i rode and showed and became close to. i dont ever forget them and then never fade from my memories. i have pictures of many of them on my walls. i even talk to them sometimes. i dont do well with death, never have. i even go out to the graves to visit my parents and talk to them. maybe i am weird. Kelly was a sweet little gal and so cute and Ike was a special soul, taking such good care of Kelly.

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  10. i guess another thing that is weird maybe. i am single, and i think of my girls as my children. my friends even say i take better care of my dogs and spend more on them than i do their children. i was talking to someone the other day and he asked me how many people live in your house, i said one, he kept asking me the same question, finally i said 3. he said right!

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    1. I'm sorry you lost your heart dog. Losing any of our dear pets is heartbreaking. Everyone has to heal in their own way. Your fur babies are blessed to have you in their lives.

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  12. So nice article, glad to read this post, thanks so much!

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Kelly and Ike say thank you for your comments!

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